Choose Your Pain — Wisely!
There’s a quote from the movie “The Equalizer 2” which goes: In Life, there are two types of pain. One which hurts and the second, the pain which alters. Now it’s up to us which one will we choose.
I’ve been going through a lot lately, and the movie quote has altered the way I see the world and how I’ve been handling my troubles. At first, I thought, “Why me,” but after taking a closer look, I understood that the world is gloomier than it appears. And there are people out there with even worse situations than I’m in right now. Someone is crying out loud for food, clothes and shelter, and someone is screaming out loud for attention, pleasure, and a better lifestyle. And there are some who are greedy for power, sex, and other such things.
And the other category where people are battling for their lives, longing for a child, going through separation/divorce, and experiencing extreme humiliation by their loved ones, their spouses have accused them with false allegations to satiate their motives or to defame the other.
Pain is everywhere, and the only question is what pain are we into?
The key to overcoming any pain is “Patience”. And in the process of you being patient; you learn, grow, and move on. The process is simple but not easy. You’ll experience mixed emotions, anxiety, inferiority, brokenness, depression and agitation. But you must stay calm and watch yourself transform slowly — but surely.
The mind will tell you at times that we aren’t worth it, that we aren’t lucky enough, that people aren’t in our favor, and you’ll keep going back in the past and thinking that I wish I hadn’t said or done that. As a result of going back to the past too much and worrying too much, we end up in extreme distress. Ask yourself, however, what is changing or how is it helping you? Things that we cannot control should also be free from our minds. The only thing we can do is learn from our own mistakes, so we don’t fall into the same trap again in the future.
Instead, what we should pay most attention to is whether we live our lives to the fullest potential or barely eke out an existence. Not dealing with our problems strategically but putting ourselves in it with no preparation is like — going to war with yourself every day. No matter whatever you’re going through, try to put it in the background and move on with your life.
I know, it’s easy to say than done. I was stuck in bed for a long time and I couldn’t even move an inch until my house is on fire (Just an expression). For months, I have barely eaten and had no confidence to look myself in the mirror cos I barely recognized myself. So, by no means I’m asking you to shake it off and move on with your life in a blink. You take your own time to recover yourself from whatever you’ve lost or going through but try to move on with your life, cos honestly, we don’t have any other option. Either you choose to endure the agony that will continue to harm you, or you choose to undergo suffering that transforms you and makes you even tougher, wiser, and more modest.
Sometimes, you must stop touching your wounds — to heal. So, don’t dive deep or dwell on such thoughts which will not make you do any better but deteriorate the situation. Life is not fair, it’s hard and challenging, and sitting in a corner or in a comfort zone won’t help you either. Our life is so risky that no matter what we do, we won’t make it alive. So, who cares? Do whatever the heck you want.
I’m still struggling with simple things like getting up early, taking a shower, getting/cooking something to eat, exercising, meditating, writing my journal, struggling to sleep — I’m barely breathing… All I want to do is lie in bed and dwell on the past and wish my life wouldn’t have turned up like this. I wish I could’ve fixed my life and so on. Even though I have made every effort to make things right, to fix things. I thought I was a fixer and can fix pretty much anything but then I was wrong. Things have gone dramatically horrible and now I feel pain in my chest that I don’t have any cure for.
Therefore, I chose to go quiet and keep a low-key profile because not everyone needs to know what’s going on in your life. Some may enjoy the gossip, some would be happy to know you’re suffering, and some will disappear from your life. And if you’re lucky you may have one or two friends on your side for your emotional and moral support. However, if you choose to sit about and whine constantly, even your pals will soon grow tired of you. So, why waste time? Learn to heal by yourself, in your own way.
You want to be in bed for long hours, be it? You want to binge eat or watch Netflix, let it be, you want to cry, scream, go on a vacation, shut yourself in or shut people out, do it. Do not, however, give up on yourself!
The best thing to implement is not thinking about the past and future. But the present day. Take a baby step “One day at a time and one thing at a time”. Put all your problems, and troubles in the background and in the front end you stay calm, composed and cool. You may have a hurricane going on in your chest but stitch your lips and learn to wipe your own tears because if you allow someone else, they’ll make a deal out of it.
So choose your pain wisely. And I promise you, that you may not get what you want but you’ll find yourself in a much better place — within you!
